09 April 2019

My Return to Blogger

I left you back in September 2017 when I took a trip to Germany with my mother-in-law. I promised to share some of the sites I saw with you. Unfortunately, this did not happen after I returned home that October.

A cousin of mine (once removed) passed away on Halloween 2017 shortly after I returned home. She lived in another state but we frequently talked. I won't say that this caused the funk I ended up being in but it contributed to it.

On November 12th of that same year, my father passed away. It was the day before what would have been his wedding anniversary with my mom and I like to say he was in a hurry to get back with her and her life in heaven. In essence, we had been estranged since he married my stepmother when I was 13. Yes, I lived with him but, he worked 3 to 11 and I only saw him briefly on weekends. As a child, I was a daddy's girl. I've always loved him and I always felt loved back, until he remarried not quite 10 months after my mother's death to an abusive woman. He turned a blind eye to what was going on and the older kids grew up and moved far away and contact was minimal and many years might pass without communication. I prayed that she would pass away first but this was not to be.

At the funeral home, pictures were on a monitor and on tables for people to look at. He was shown with his child with his 2nd wife, with her and friends of their daughter. No pictures or other indications were that he had 2 older children. We were included in the obit but so were pseudo relatives, 3 of his siblings were missing and his father's name was wrong. At the church, the 2 older children were excluded from escorting his remains to the altar but the pseudo relatives were included.

There was not a procession to the cemetery, but the grave side service was started before the 2 oldest children arrived there. I finally blew up at the end when everyone was leaving. No, I did not get physical but, my mouth went into overdrive when I let the wicked stepmother know that I felt she was malicious, a liar and vindictive. Many things that had been eating at me and eroding my mental health since I was almost 14 and at his funeral I was 60.  After all of this, I had some relief in knowing that I no longer had to claim her as family although, I have really had to put in some extra effort battling my chronic depression. So you may have noticed, I have not posted anything since before then. What you are not able to see is that I have not crocheted anything since then either. One of my favorite things in life did not motivate me. I made a few stitches a couple times but that's about it.

I am at the point that I believe I am moving on. I want to return to blog land on a more or less regular basis. Mainly this blog is for me and friends I make here are cherished bonuses.  I hope you will join me here as I share my crocheting and other things with you.

God bless all of you....